Fabulosity, with an edge.

Is that what you had said? My bad Mr. Williams..

The other day, I went to my usual starbucks to get my usual drink (venti sweetened green iced tea) but something unusual happened. There was a newbie on the staff I had grown to love. Now you may be thinking to yourself, “Why is this bitch freaking out about a new worker?” Let this bitch make his point. (I’m not really freaking out, this is going to a funny place) I went up to the counter being my over the top self saying hello to all the barista’s I already know & love along the way. I got to the register & placed my order with the newbie. He did not appreciate my over the top personality & only said the words “It’s 2.25” to me. Those may have been the only audible words he spoke. But then this motherfucker finished his statement with “you big queen.” Before I could react the supervisor (cindy, love her) rushed over & told him to go wait for her in the back. I then was apologized to & received a free drink. (Fuck yea!!) When this transpired my mind immediately jumped to the MadTv skit “BonQuiQui.” This sassy comedienne takes all the things we all hate about fast food workers to the extreme. Its flawless. My favorite line is “Welcome to King Burger where you can have it your way, but don’t get crazy.” No one would actually say that to you, but you can tell they want to. They clearly hate their job & it shows in the food & the amount of time you have to wait at the FAST food restaurant. I understand their dismay, because if I had to wear that hideous Wendys or Steak & Shake uniform I’d be pissed all the time too. But come on people! At least pretend!

Watch the video. (I’m gonna link it to this post later, but youtube isn’t cooperating with my browser right now. Search Bonquiqui on youtube if you’re in a rush.)

Now, my second topic is of no relevance to the first. But its happening as I write this. So I’m gonna talk about it.

{This is my clever lead in that doesn’t really exist, but is mildly clever because it’s in brackets.}

I need to comment on the fact that Barack Obama is on The View right now. There are a couple peculiar things with this situation I want to touch on. The first being; OUR PRESIDENT IS ON A FUCKING DAYTIME TALK SHOW!! Is he the president or a celebrity? This is so stupid I can’t get my head around it. The second is; Whoopi is looking like a lesbatron as usual swimming in fabric that should be on a couch, BUT, today she’s rockin four inch pumps!! Now honey, I am all for a nice pair of heels. But you look like a six year old girl playing dress up in her dads clothes & mommys “party shoes.” Fire your stylist Whoopi. Call Rachel Zoe she’ll take care of ya. The final thing I want to touch on is: the President knows that Lindsay is in Jail, but he DOESN’T know who Snooki is?! Absurd. I feel as though we elected the wrong person just because of this information.

The quote I’m going to leave you with today is one from Sherri Shepard on todays episode of The View upon hearing Obama doesn’t know who Snooki is.

“GTL Mr. President!! GTL!!”

Editor In Chief of Fagazine,

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.


3 responses

  1. Allison

    Zach, I love that you always talk about my favorite things. I love Starbucks, I love BonQuiQui, I love The View, and I love that we both noticed Whoopi’s heels. Oh and I love your blog 🙂

    July 29, 2010 at 5:13 pm

  2. Stephen

    this post was absolutely hysterical. im now officially addicted to the fagazine

    July 30, 2010 at 4:18 am

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