So You Think You Can Diva
Alrighty, so assuming you people have as much invested in pop culture as I do, you’re well aware that J-Lo is in the running to be one of the new judges on American Idol. There is just one hitch. J-Lo and the AI execs are having some trouble reaching an agreement on the contract because her demands are leaning towards the outrageous side. I guess the bitch isn’t “Jenny From The Block” anymore. Personally, I don’t think the AI franchise should pass up a gal like Jenny. How about having a judge on the show who isn’t completely washed up, or detached from the music industry (No offense Ellen, you’re my gurl). She may not be from the block anymore, but she has definitely been around the block a few times. She knows the music industry, whether or not you think she is talented. Also, one of the other alternatives is Steven Tyler. I saw that mans picture and almost threw up. He (I’m not even sure its a he anymore..) looks like he has been fucking mummified. I won’t watch just because of the night terrors that I will get from watching that thing on television. Not a cute look AI, not cute at all.
Not to fear J-Lo I have a perfect back up plan for you if this whole Idol shebang falls through.
So You Think You Can Diva. Now, I’m aware that the title is a poor attempt to cover up the gigantic hit in the gay community So You Think You Can Dance, but that just means people will think we’re in the same franchise and jump on board! The basic premise of the show is finding a celebrity, female or gay, who is the queen diva in the country. We will follow a contestant around for a week to get a look into their life. The goal is to be as high maintenance as possible but remaining in good standings with the american public. A challenging task. Only a true diva like Jenny could pull such a thing off. So naturally she will be the head judge. There will be two more judges and a guest each week to form a panel. There will be a series of eliminations based on the opinions of the judges and the votes submitted by the viewers. People like Tyra Banks will not be permitted to appear on the show. Blatant stupidity, false sense of confidence, and gigantic foreheads are not allowed. So Tyra, you and your Belly Button game better stay the fuck away from my show (google it people, it really happened). Another asset to my show will be the host, Chelsea Handler. Sound perfect? I think so. The networks offered to host the show will be Bravo and E!, I’m sure it will be quite the battle. That said, Andy Cohen, call me!
On a personal note, I went to see my cousins band Sugarland in concert on Saturday night with my entire family. The night was simply magical! The music was amazing and my family had so much fun it was unprecedented. I am always stunned at the power of music, and its ability to bring people together.
Back to our topic.
What do you guys think? Would you watch So You Think You Can Diva?
I am uploading two pictures today. One is grotesque, one is fierce. See if you can match the description to the photo.
Editor In Chief of Fagazine,