Fabulosity, with an edge.

Celeb Konflicts, Stars Krash and Burn.

This week has been rough for XTina, MTV’s “Teen Mom” took offense to a blog post fired off by my gurl Kim Kardashian. (Her name isn’t the only reason I mispelled conflicts and crash. I am also writing about the tattooed vixen Kat Von Dee.)

Lets talk about that mess first.

Kitty Kat has signed up for one mess of a marriage. Her new fiancee Jesse James proposed to her over the weekend. SEVEN months after his wedding with Sandra Bullock went up in flames. Remember that time America hated him, and even if she did look like a gorgoyle, we liked Kat? Well now everyone thinks she is the biggest Naive Nina to ever walk a red carpet.  When asked if he was excited about his news Jesse James said “Growing old with her is going to be a fuckin’ blast.” Uh, newsflash Jesse. You’re already old.

I am all for second chances, but I also believe “once a cheater, always a cheater” holds some truth. Especially when he knew the risk of getting caught in the first place would result in a media storm. Gross.

Now on to the shiniest golden pipes in Hollywood. Christina Aguileira.

Reports of the newly single mom’s out of control partying have begun to surface. None of these claims have been bolstered with video or picture, so whether or not they are true is anyone’s guess. But one thing is for certain. Since she gained weight, we know what a platinum blonde Snooki would look like. The media has been saying that she has been partying more and more since her divorce a few months ago. The singer is being compared to the tragic pre-comeback Britney. This is all a little premature isn’t it? None of these stories have even been confirmed! She hasn’t even shaved her head (or her beaver)!

What a Sad little Sally Christina must be right now! Don’t worry lady, as long as your bebe boy is safe, and you don’t damage those vocal chords you can do whatever the hell you want, we still love Burlesque.

FINALLY a celebrity has vocalized what most respectable people have been thinking since the beginning of MTV’s repulsive “Teen Mom” and “16 and Pregnant” franchise.

After leaving an interview with MTV where she saw the story about the school in Memphis that has had 90 girls pregnant in the last year, Kim took to her blog. She said:

‘Having a baby is one of the biggest, and most life-changing decisions a person can make and while I’m not saying that no teen is in the position to raise a child, having a baby so young shouldn’t be seen as the trendy thing to do.’

Preach, Kim. Girls are now thinking the fastest way to get on the cover of People Magazine, is to have a baby and throw your entire gestation period on national television.

Amber Portwood, the resident Lindsay Lohan of Teen Mom, who made 280,000 dollars last year took time between court appearances and jail sentences to respond to Kim’s statement.

“There’s actually a study that shows since the original 16 and Pregnant aired, the number of teen pregnancies have gone down. Last time I checked, Kim Kardashian had a sex tape floating around on the internet and I’m pretty sure she made a lot of money off of it. She made a sex tape when she was younger and she wants to bash the girls on Teen Mom?”

I for one, would like to know where this “study” is. Second, Kim may have made a sex tape when she was younger BUT she did NOT get PREGNANT and capitalize on that! Or milk the press because of the issues she had in court (there were none), she didn’t go to jail, and she never tried to break a no contact order with her baby daddy whom she also beat the shit out of. As you have probably insinuated I don’t care much for this pig faced Hester Prynne who hails from Indiana. She is a loose cannon fame whore who shouldn’t be caring for a child. Neither should her BD Gary Shirley. Poor little Leah.

Moral of the story: Kim Kardashian and Christina Aguileira do no wrong in my eyes. They’re too fabulous and have too many Christian Louboutins in their closets. Werk.

Editor-In-Chief of Fagazine,

Zach

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