Lindsay not Lohan finally caught a break with the one of her court cases.
The Riverside County DA has decided that there is an insufficient amount of evidence against Lindsay to prosecute her on the charges of Criminal Battery. Which is true.
Plus, she was in rehab coming down off a crack addiction. I would certainly hope a little short tempered outbursts are expected. She is a ginger.
But not a Lohan. They’re fucking crazy anyways.
Don’t forget about the OTHER criminal charges she’s facing right now.
You can criticize Lindsay all you want, but I think we can all agree on one point.
She is the most stylist criminal to EVER exist.
Editor-In-Chief of Fagazine,
Cee Lo Green was my inspiration for this title.
Maybe his song “Fuck You” really IS about Betty Ford, the bitch made LiLo go bankrupt…
BACK to the point. Charlie Sheen is doing rehab his own way. In his own house. Remember that time he had a two day party binge there? With a BRICK of cocaine and a porn star? I use the word star loosely, her title is self appointed. Her name is Kacey Jordan. What the hell, does she think she is some kind of Kardashian spelling her name with a K?
Yeah sounds like a great plan, Charlie.
What kind of doctor would approve this anyways? I would just like to say thanks for the material, in advance.
Charlie is so excited about this, he took this picture and called it; “The ladder to recovery.”
That didn’t actually happen, but I had to work it in. Eh? Eh?
Editor-In-Chief of Fagazine,
My favorite Hollywood Hurricane is back on Sunset BLVD!
That’s right, Cady Heron is BACK! Yesterday Lindsay quietly finished out treatment, and left The Betty Ford Center. Amidst all the rumors that she was going to bail out, or didn’t have the means to finish.
Score: Lohans- 1, American Public- 14,763
But regardless, good for you Glen Coco!
Now that Lindsay is out, her PR team, and by that I mean, her mess of a momager Dina, has been spewing wildfire about what LiLo (not Stitch, that’s a disney movie. This shit is real.) is going to do next. Lindsay is going to be developing a shoe line to go along with her already successful line of leggings, 6126. I bet it will be fierce. Lindsay may have been a cokehead, but admit it. She was the fiercest looking coke addict you had ever seen. But then again, I have respect for anyone who can fall drunk and high out of their mind in Christian Louboutins and still say they don’t have a problem. Its called consistency people. We all need some.
But also, Dina is saying there is going to be a movie made about the entire Lohan Clan. Um, Dina, Honey. No one gives a fuck about any of you except for Lindsay! The reason your daughter got herself into this shit is because you were too busy riding her coat tails instead of being a parent. Oopsie.
So Lindsay, all of us here (me) at The Fagazine are praying for a swift and effective comeback for you!
The Real Glen Coco,