Fabulosity, with an edge.

Posts tagged “Charlie Sheen

Vatican Assassin Warlock

So everyone has heard/seen the Charlie Sheen interviews from this past week right? He is stark raving mad! But the way he describes himself as having tiger blood and an adonis body? Comedic gold. Oh, and don’t forget he called himself a Vatican Assassin Warlock when asked about how he will proceed with suing Two and a Half Men.

 

By calling himself a warlock, Charlie pissed off a coven of warlocks in Salem, Mass. Yeah, seriously.

 

But if you haven’t followed him on twitter yet, I suggest you do so. His official reasoning for joining twitter is because he is unemployed. Celebrity sponsored tweets go for about 10k. (Something he should get used to..)

Follow Charlie Sheen, here.

 

Editor-In-Chief of Fagazine,

Zach

 

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Who’s the Boss?

Think you’ve got problems with YOUR boss at work?

Well, imagine having the fate of your job and paycheck controlled by Charlie Sheen.

Thats right, the crew of Two and a Half Men is relying on Charlie Sheen to make it back to the set by February 28th so they can finish filming, and they have already lost pay for the four episodes editor out of the eight that were supposed to finish out the season.

 

"Don't worry guys, it'll be fine!"

 

 

Ultimately, if Sheen doesn’t finish out his “rehab” in time for filming, it leaves an entire crew without the money they need to pay their bills.

 

If I was in their shoes I would be throwing bricks of cocaine at Charlie. He was more reliable when he was doped up!

 

Editor-In-Chief of Fagazine,

Zach


The Porn Bowl

Yesterday Charlie Sheen watched the Super Bowl from his beautiful, and supremely classy “Porn Theater” in his LA Mansion…

 



Okay Charlie, the jig’s up. Whats REALLY in that gatorade bottle?

According to TMZ Charlie is taking his rehab very seriously.

Well, shit. That’s no fun. Congrats?

 

Editor-In-Chief of Fagazine,

Zach


Hey Betty Ford, forget you.

Cee Lo Green was my inspiration for this title.

Maybe his song “Fuck You” really IS about Betty Ford, the bitch made LiLo go bankrupt…

 

BACK to the point. Charlie Sheen is doing rehab his own way. In his own house. Remember that time he had a two day party binge there? With a BRICK of cocaine and a porn star? I use the word star loosely, her title is self appointed. Her name is Kacey Jordan. What the hell, does she think she is some kind of Kardashian spelling her name with a K?

Yeah sounds like a great plan, Charlie.

What kind of doctor would approve this anyways? I would just like to say thanks for the material, in advance.

 

Charlie is so excited about this, he took this picture and called it; “The ladder to recovery.”

That didn’t actually happen, but I had to work it in. Eh? Eh?

 

Editor-In-Chief of Fagazine,

Zach


V for… Not Valentino.

Here is a picture of Eva Mendes wearing Valentino Couture at the Art Of Elysium “Heaven” Gala.

But I don’t think V stands for Valentino.

Here’s a hint…

Look at all those layers of Labia laying on her shoulders!
And the pink fleshy colored fabric.

That’s right, you’ve almost got it.

V for Vagina.

I’m taking a page from Man Repeller‘s fashion forward book here. But as I saw this dress featured on E!’s Fashion Police tonight, I made a discovery.

If the dress you’re wearing is at any point described as ethereal and feminine..

It is probably reminiscent of a vagina.

Next time think twice. Unless you’re going to Ellen and Portia’s house, no one wants to see that shit.

Editor-In-Chief of the Fagazine,

Zach

Post Sheen: Yeah, I just changed the word “script” to “Sheen.” As in Charlie. Because who cares about that other one.. What’s his brother’s name? Anyways, back to the point. Charlie Sheen voluntarily checked himself into rehab today. First of all, ha. Second of all, what the hell Charlie? How selfish are you? What else are we bloggers or the comedians with TV shows going to talk about on slow days now? Now LiLo and Charlie (ha) are going to be clean? Betty Ford is NOT my jam right now.


Home Alone.

Today, I have the rare privelage of spending the day at home, so I have spent it watching Ellen, The View, and Salt. (It may seem random. But the first two shows were estrogen central. I needed a little bit of ass kicking to balance it out.)

But all that is beside the point. I found a new blog addiction. Sea Of Shoes is THE best photography/fashion blog I have ever seen. Jane Aldridge is the blogger, her shoe selection is second to none, as is her style. She uploads flawless pictures of herself in every post showcasing a pair of shoes or an item of clothing/outfit. Every single one is to DIE for. Look for the post about her gold YSL platforms from Las Vegas. I was having heart palpitations as I looked at the pictures. After you see her most recent post featuring the 80’s Moschino leather jacket, you’ll be hooked.

And while I don’t have a fabulously decorated house in Texas, flawless skin, firecracker red hair, or endless amounts of money for designer duds, I’ve got a blog. So am I going to make a tribute to my girl Jane? You betcha! (Sarah Palin impression.. Even typing her name makes me nauseous.)

Here’s to you Jane!

I was feeling a little nautical today, okay? Blue tie, blue tint. It makes sense.

Having this book on our coffee table makes me feel better about being in Cincinnati.
Pine cone boat irrelevant.

 

Editor-In-Chief of Fagazine,

Zach

Post Script: Charlie Sheen is in the hospital because of severe abdominal pain. Let’s take bets on the cause. Liver failure due to Alcohol Abuse? Kidney failure due to Alcohol Abuse? Pregnancy? Stigmata? Give me your best diagnosis people.