Fabulosity, with an edge.

Posts tagged “Ellen

Hair cuts everywhere!

First Justin Bieber cut off his locks, and gave the clippings to Ellen to sell on her website for charity… Weird.

 

Now Jennifer Aniston got her hair cut off!

Two hair cuts in a row that I love!

 

You work that sassy bob miss thing!

 

Editor-In-Chief of Fagazine,

Zach

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NYFW Cowgirl. Street Stylin’.

Last night, in honor of The Man Repeller, I decided to do a street style segment with my friend @laurieloulou22 as the subject.

I don’t have womens designer duds lying around, but I did scrounge up a faux fur jacket, a eternity scarf, and my jean jacket from eighth grade. Also, cowboy boots are mandatory for this look.

Ready? Set. GLITTER!

This lovely little creation is courtesy of Forever 21. Cute and Comfy.

Step One: Top Knot.

 

Step Dos: Embrace your inner lesbian and find a Jean Jacket.
(This one was mine, circa 2003.)

 

 

Step Three: Cowboy boots.
Now you don’t get to say you just bought them for that country concert.
I guess we’re still embracing your inner lesbian, its okay. Look how successful Ellen and Portia are! Covergirls!

 

Step four: Toss on a Colored Scarf.
I guess lesbatrons wear scarves too, but we’re getting more feminine.

Make sure you stay on top of your top knot, this one is sagging like Joan River’s ass.

 

Step Five: Smoke out your eyes and pop your lips. Leave the lesbian behind, its time to take a cue from Taylor Momsen.
Disdain for life 100% necessary.


Step Six: Bring it all together with something every girl should have. (Faux) Fur.
If you feel like Kelly Bensimone, you’re doing it right.

 

 

Finally, add a heap pinch of Naomi Campbell, and you’re front row at Proenza Schouler ready.

Werque.

Looky Looky friends, fashion week ready attire that didn’t require leaving the house or spending money to assemble.

“Let’s take a Twilight Picture.”

We’d be some bad ass vampires.

Editor-In-Chief of Fagazine,

Zach


V for… Not Valentino.

Here is a picture of Eva Mendes wearing Valentino Couture at the Art Of Elysium “Heaven” Gala.

But I don’t think V stands for Valentino.

Here’s a hint…

Look at all those layers of Labia laying on her shoulders!
And the pink fleshy colored fabric.

That’s right, you’ve almost got it.

V for Vagina.

I’m taking a page from Man Repeller‘s fashion forward book here. But as I saw this dress featured on E!’s Fashion Police tonight, I made a discovery.

If the dress you’re wearing is at any point described as ethereal and feminine..

It is probably reminiscent of a vagina.

Next time think twice. Unless you’re going to Ellen and Portia’s house, no one wants to see that shit.

Editor-In-Chief of the Fagazine,

Zach

Post Sheen: Yeah, I just changed the word “script” to “Sheen.” As in Charlie. Because who cares about that other one.. What’s his brother’s name? Anyways, back to the point. Charlie Sheen voluntarily checked himself into rehab today. First of all, ha. Second of all, what the hell Charlie? How selfish are you? What else are we bloggers or the comedians with TV shows going to talk about on slow days now? Now LiLo and Charlie (ha) are going to be clean? Betty Ford is NOT my jam right now.


Home Alone.

Today, I have the rare privelage of spending the day at home, so I have spent it watching Ellen, The View, and Salt. (It may seem random. But the first two shows were estrogen central. I needed a little bit of ass kicking to balance it out.)

But all that is beside the point. I found a new blog addiction. Sea Of Shoes is THE best photography/fashion blog I have ever seen. Jane Aldridge is the blogger, her shoe selection is second to none, as is her style. She uploads flawless pictures of herself in every post showcasing a pair of shoes or an item of clothing/outfit. Every single one is to DIE for. Look for the post about her gold YSL platforms from Las Vegas. I was having heart palpitations as I looked at the pictures. After you see her most recent post featuring the 80’s Moschino leather jacket, you’ll be hooked.

And while I don’t have a fabulously decorated house in Texas, flawless skin, firecracker red hair, or endless amounts of money for designer duds, I’ve got a blog. So am I going to make a tribute to my girl Jane? You betcha! (Sarah Palin impression.. Even typing her name makes me nauseous.)

Here’s to you Jane!

I was feeling a little nautical today, okay? Blue tie, blue tint. It makes sense.

Having this book on our coffee table makes me feel better about being in Cincinnati.
Pine cone boat irrelevant.

 

Editor-In-Chief of Fagazine,

Zach

Post Script: Charlie Sheen is in the hospital because of severe abdominal pain. Let’s take bets on the cause. Liver failure due to Alcohol Abuse? Kidney failure due to Alcohol Abuse? Pregnancy? Stigmata? Give me your best diagnosis people.