Fabulosity, with an edge.

Posts tagged “Hollywood Stupidity

Swimming in the Kiddie Pool

Its no secret that the Entertainment industry is a world of shallow people, materialism, and overpaid dumb asses. But it also isn’t a secret that we eat that shit up. When I got home from a day out, I got on my computer and went surfing through my usual hollywood smut on the internet and came across a story about my hubby, Taylor Lautner. The story is completely outrageous, and true. And it involves the teenage heart throb turning not into a werewolf, but a DIVA. Yes, I am serious. I don’t fuck around with anything involving Jacob Black.

So here it is.

Taytay, and his father arranged for an RV to be completely gutted and remodeled for Taylor to take on the set of his next movie. The price tag on this little endeavor was in the ballpark of $300,000. Now aside from the unnecessary expenditures shown here on behalf of the Lautner clan this doesn’t seem far outside of the Hollywood realm of idiocracy. Taylor was informed that the RV would not, in fact, be ready for the upcoming flick and promptly decided to sue the company for fraud, and breaching their contract. Or something along those lines. Come on Taytay! YOU’RE the one who released statements saying things like you still mow your lawn at home and do the dishes to maintain a level of normalcy in your life. Newsflash, bb. Buying a $300,000 RV and then throwing a bitch fit about not getting it in time for your new movie, which you will make millions off of, is not normal. What shocked me most about this story is the fact that it had little effect on my opinion of Wolfy, for reasons that I think are apparent. As shown by the picture on the left of this post. Hollywood gets away with an incredible amount of shennanigans because of their aesthetic. They’re all beautiful. I for one, am not ashamed to say that I am a material girl, and like adore and all things glamorous. I bought a white blackberry because I thought it was more chic. So I am in no position to criticize the powers that be in the Hollywood Hills. But as a citizen of the US of America (nods head like “Dubya” as he types) I am going to assert my right to freedom of speech. All the people, like the bitches on The View, and the “Serious Media” moguls like Nancy Grace -moron- and Larry King -deceased- bash the high rollers who walk down the red carpet for the things that they do, are just feeding the madness. They come across as if they are some other class of human beings. But really, if they were so far above the hooligans of The Wood, they wouldn’t be covering these stories for higher ratings. So put that in your BBm and send it America. I just got serious about Hollywood.

The only thing that really grinds my gears about the obsession with appearance in Hollyhood is when people mistake good looks for talent. Now, I may enjoy going to see all the installments of the Twilight Saga at midnight showings but I have no illusions of talent coming from the screen my eyes are glued to. Lets be real, KStew is a mess, and portrays the character of Bella Swan as an angsty lesbian. So basically, herself. But because she has great eyes and good bone structure we keep watching. Taylor Lautner’s CGI wolf has more stage presence than he does. And RPatz, I mean what is there to say? Not great. I really don’t want to Remember You. So when fans of performers like Justin Beiber, and Taylor Swift mistake their good looks and nice clothes with talent, I get annoyed. Beiber Bitches, Ima tell you one time, your boy can’t sing. I’ll admit his songs are fun to listen to, but so are The Pussycat Dolls. They’re not actually singing anything. So flip your hideous hair all you want Beibs. I’m on to you. I REALLY don’t understand the obsession this country has with Taylor Swift, because she can’t sing AND she looks like the bride of frankenstein. Seriously, she is a dead face. So if someone could explain to me why she is such a mega hit, it would be much appreciated. (Not really, you aren’t gonna change my mind.)

So, as I step off of my soap box, I would like to remind you all to NOT be ashamed of your love for the glitz and the glam of red carpet season. The hair, the flowing gowns, the hottie hunks that strut their stuff are not a waste of time. After all, someone has to keep the bar raised high. Personal appearance limbo isn’t a game I am interested in playing. So, stay strong Hollywood. Fuck you Barbara Walters.

Editor In Cheif of Fagazine,

PS: A note to the people who say they don’t care about Hollywood: Do you take pride in what you wear, and do you shower daily?



No Silent Saturday!

Hello faithful readers. I apologize for not having a post for Saturday. I won’t have some typical blog theme like “Silent Saturday.” This won’t be the norm, I couldn’t live with myself. I will have a stupendous post up later today I promise! I swear on the life of Queen Latifah. I’m gonna do some Mel Gibson bitching I think. Talk to you later on!

Editor In Chief of Fagazine,

PS: Check back tomorrow for more on this guy.

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Pat Yo’ Weave

Ok people, another hectic day in the life of an up & coming magazine means you get a shorter post. Sorry!

Despite the fact that I hate how much Press LiLo (Lindsay Lohan) gets from prison, I am going to write about her again. The two things I’m writing about are too fucking ridiculous to pass up.

Lindsay is already trying to get more time between her release from jail & her stint in rehab. She says she needs to spend time with family. First of all, what judge in their right mind would let her spend time with that catastrophe of a family? 24hrs is a perfect break from being confined. Plus have you people SEEN the rehab center where she has to live?! Its nicer than any vacation resort most people will ever stay in. She isn’t going to rehab, she’s going on a fucking retreat! Come on Lindsay. I, & the rest of america have had just about enough of your victim act.

Also, LiLo is demanding that someone do her hair before she is released from jail. They must have taken out her extensions when she got there. So she says she must have her tracks put back in before she is released. Really Lindsay? Really? You think we give a fuck about what your HAIR looks like when you get released from JAIL? Get your priorities straight honey. Maybe you should worry about the fact that you’re in jail at all before worrying about your hair. The judge isn’t indulging this little tantrum she is throwing. The judge did say LiLo will be released some time around midnight to minimize the press coverage. But we know that won’t stop the paps.

I just miss the girl in the movie that got me through middle school, & is a must have at every one of my movie nights. Mean Girls. So as we watch our beloved Cady Heron go up in flames (starting with her crotch) we should remember the hours of enjoyment we all received from that timeless film.

I may say how much I despise Lindsay, but because of Cady, there will always be a place in my heart for LiLo. So, in these dark days I will leave Lindsay, & the rest of my Mean Girls with some words of encouragement.

Only a few more days (in jail) for you Glen Coco. You go Glen Coco.

Editor In Chief of Fagazine,

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