Fabulosity, with an edge.

Posts tagged “Lindsay Lohan 2011

Lindsay say it ain’t so!

Lindsay Lohan went bar hopping last night with her friend Samantha Swetra. Not only did Linz put herself in a situation that is NOT good for someone working on their sobriety, but Samantha Swetra got into a fight with Paz de la Huerta. They went to Rose Bar at the Gramercie Hotel, and then The Cabin Down Below in the East Village.

Lindsay, you’re looking so much healthier!

 

But it wasn’t too long ago that you looked like this!

 

Don’t mess it up!

Also. Kamofie and Company (the jeweler who is cashing in on Lindsay’s demise) has pulled ANOTHER stunt to exploit this entire situation surrounding Lindsay’s alleged necklace heist. They started a website dedicated to showing people the surveillance video of Lindsay “stealing” the necklace. But you have to pay 2.99 EVERY time you log on. So. Disgusting. Not only have they already tried to get someone to buy the fucking movie rights for this whole fiasco, but now they’re pulling this. I have been saying this was nothing but a publicity stunt since the very beginning! I was right. Lindsay better be acquitted.

 

Editor-In-Chief of Fagazine,

Zach


Court Chronicles: LiLo

Lindsay not Lohan finally caught a break with the one of her court cases.

The Riverside County DA has decided that there is an insufficient amount of evidence against Lindsay to prosecute her on the charges of Criminal Battery. Which is true.

 

Yippie!

 

 

Plus, she was in rehab coming down off a crack addiction. I would certainly hope a little short tempered outbursts are expected. She is a ginger. But not a Lohan. They’re fucking crazy anyways.

Don’t forget about the OTHER criminal charges she’s facing right now.

You can criticize Lindsay all you want, but I think we can all agree on one point.

 

(Yes, again. I'm obsessed with her shoes!)

 

She is the most stylist criminal to EVER exist.

 

Editor-In-Chief of Fagazine,

Zach


Court Chronicles: LiLo

The Grand Theft case against Lindsay Lohan is beginning to fall apart at the seams.

The necklace that Lohan allegedly swiped, when appraised at fairmarket value is only worth 800-1000 dollars, as opposed to the $2,500 Kamofie & Company was asking for it.

If the necklace is officially appraised at less than $950, California Law dictates that the charge must be reduced to petty theft.

“Caught ya, suckas.”

The sentence for which would be 6 months in jail, significantly different than a year in prison. Lindsay’s lawyer said the prosecutor was trying for a higher value of the necklace to make a point against Lindsay.

 

Woohoo!

 


Court Chronicles: LiLo

Today is the day.

The Felony Grand Theft charges against Lindsay have been filed, and she is set to appear in court at 1:30 PT today. So around four thirty for all of us here on the east coast, the hearing will be live streamed on TMZ. I will be tuning in until I have to go to work.

Hold it together Lindsay, this case isn’t exactly iron clad.

 

Editor-In-Chief of Fagazine,

Zach

 


Court Chronicles: LiLo

Lindsay will be facing Felony Grand Theft charged tomorrow in court.

Damn damn damn.

When Lindsay was asked what her plea will be, she said “Not guilty because I’m NOT!”

We know hun, we know.

But there is SOME good news in this situation. No perp walk for Lindsay!

“Easy street, suckas.”

 

Lindsay will be surrendering herself when she is arraigned in court tomorrow.

Then she will go to the basement of the courthouse where her mugshot will be taken, and she will be released when bail is posted.

This all will begin around 1:30 PT. And TMZ will be live streaming the entire thing on their website. Would you expect anything less?

Good luck Lindsay, we’re in your corner!

 

Editor-In-Chief of Fagazine,

Zach


Court Chronicles: LiLo

Here we go, Lindsay Court Chronicles are in full swing.

Today Lindsay’s lawyer, Shawn Chapman Holley pitched her case showing why Lindsay shouldn’t be prosecuted in the Grand Theft Jewelry case.

Right, like thats gonna work. The LA District Attorney’s office miss an opportunity to skewer a celebrity as an example? I think not.

No word has been released on what happened in the meeting.

“Seriously dude? Why would I steal that necklace? My weave cost more…”

 

Lindsay will no doubt have to appear in court for this case, and I am upset about it. She needs to get back to being a professional Paparazzi target!

 

Editor-In-Chief of Fagazine,

Zach


Court Chronicles: LiLo

Lindsay is still sounding off about the Felony Grand Theft charge.

She says that this is just another example of how she is an easy target for people to take a shot at right now. People know she is in a vulnerable position and want to take advantage of it.

Lindsay thinks the jewelry store owner is concocting a story that she stole the necklace. Linz still insists it was loaned to her.

She is saying she is “very nervous” about going back to jail, and says “nothing is worth going back.” But what she hasn’t said is that a jail sentence isn’t at stake here, its much more severe than that. State prison.

Another turn has taken place against Lindsay. Veteran L.A. County Deputy District Attorney Danette Meyers has been chosen to prosecute Lindsay on this case. This is the same woman who prosecuted Lindsay on her DUI case, and when Lindsay violated her probation, Meyers tried to get jail time for Lindsay.

Meyers has been named Prosecutor of the Year twice, and she specializes in felonies.

Things aren’t looking great for my girl right now. She should keep wearing fierce outfits right now, because soon she’ll be wearing boring court appropriate atire.

Sad.

 

Editor-In-Chief of Fagazine,

Zach

 


Court Chronicles: LiLo

Here we go again, Lindsay Lohan is headed back into the courtroom.

She seriously can’t help but stay out of trouble!

The Los Angeles County DA said that Lindsay will be charged with Felony Grand Theft, and the case will be filed as early as Monday. I am one Annoyed Anthony.

I still don’t think Lindsay did it, why would she have a reason to steal a necklace that is $2500 when retailers are throwing her exotic cars and $25,000 necklaces?

Lindsay is sticking to her story; that she was wearing the necklace on loan, and it wasn’t returned on time. The only snag is that she was wearing it a WEEK after the alleged loan took place. Whoopsie. (She also says that she wouldn’t have done the paperwork for the loan, she leaves that to “her people.”)

I love everything she wears, but espesh a good product placement. Those leather paneled leggings are from her collection. 6126.

 

If Linz gets convicted (I’m thinking she won’t, despite the case against her being strong. Something is off.) she will face up to three years in state prison.

WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITHOUT PICTURES OF MY FAVORITE HOLLYWOOD FASHION HIPPIE FOR THREE YEARS?!

That was in caps, and italic, it means I’m growing frantic.

Gloria Allred, you’re up. Put an end to all this shit before I have to start watching what Kate Hudson is wearing. I have to find another hippie, but she is pregnant, and a slut. Not great.

Editor-In-Chief of Fagazine,

Zach


Some Luck for La Lohan!

Some caveats in the Grand Theft Jewelry case against Lindsay have popped up.

The owner of Kamofie & Company says Linz walked out with the necklace on January 22nd. She tried contacting Lindsay Lohan’s people to return the $2,500 necklace on that same day but couldn’t get in touch with anyone. (Probably because they were all at the event Lindsay alleged the necklace was loaned to her for in the first place.) But she didn’t call the LAPD until the 23rd.

Second issue: The owner could have simply walked down the street and knocked on Lindsay’s door at any point..

Yesterday I said the DA will have to prove that Lindsay had clear intent to steal said necklace from Kamofie & Company.

1) Lindsay claims the necklace was loaned to her for an event, and not returned on time.

2) Jewelers are constantly throwing themselves at Lindsay to wear their stuff. (Not to mention, in January a friend of Lindsay’s gave her a necklace valued at ten times the amount of the alleged stolen necklace..)

Once again, Lindsay and I are on the same page.
“Dude, you can’t be serious.”

I’ve got your back girl.

 

Editor-In-Chief of Fagazine,

Zach

 


Lohan Lightning: The Lindsay Chronicles

The first photos of LiLo post rehab are starting to hit the news circuit.

We like what we see! Lindsay’s first public outing was to the celeb friendly gym Equinox. She met with her new personal trainer and is already looking fab, healthy and happy! Bringing up Glen Coco two posts in a row seems extreme, so I’ll just say, Good for you, Gurl!

There has been a lot of talk in regard to what Lindsay is going to do post rehab, and I reported on her plans to expand her 6126  brand yesterday. But she has also made some more major moves.

It’s no secret that one of the people that had the biggest influence on Lindsay was her Ex-Lesbian Samatha Ronson. It was rumored that Sam was the straw that broke the camels back when it came to Lindsay going to rehab. It seems that Linz wanted to be near this positive influence in her life, and bought a very expensive beach pad next door to Sam in Venice Beach. (Also, furthering her separation from her old life.)

There was a big blank spot because I don’t know what I’m supposed to say. Its a beach house. Its rectangular. Tranquil? I’m not a fucking realitor people.

 

 

 

This last picture of Lindsay is from 2010, pre-rehab. The difference is unbeweaveable. Keep doing what you’re doing lady. Much improved!

Editor-In-Chief of Fagazine,

Zach