Fabulosity, with an edge.

Posts tagged “MTV

Teen (horrible)Mom

Remember my favorite Teen Mom Amber Pork- I mean Portwood?

Well, she finally got the restraining order against Gary Shirley, her baby daddy lifted. She probably needs a sparring partner to let some of that aimless anger out.

 

The judge did leave one major condition in tact though. Amber and Gary are not allowed to be together with the child present.

So basically, fight club isn”t deemed appropriate for the baby.

Thank God.

 

Editor-In-Chief of Fagazine,

Zach

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Lauren Conrad is Fab.

I love me some Lauren Conrad, after leaving all her reality show nonsense behind her career has continued to blossom.

She is a successful author, a designer with her own clothing line, and a stint as a guest judge on America’s Next Top Model.

 

Recently LC shot a pilot for a new Reality Show about her life AFTER “reality TV” (The Hills was notoriously scripted, hence the quotes.) which is kind of ironic anyways. After filming the pilot MTV released a statement saying they declined because Lauren didn’t want to film her personal life.

Here is the statement released by LC’s camp:

“We sold a show to MTV, filmed it and are really proud of the final result. MTV felt the subject matter was too high brow for their audience and offered me the opportunity to change the show by incorporating more of my personal life. We agreed going into the project that this show would be an aspirational one, focusing on my career and my goals and not my personal relationships. We delivered the show that we sold and are sorry MTV didn’t feel their viewers were savvy enough to appreciate it.”

 

I guess MTV didn’t think that MTV viewers would be able to handle a show not involving fake relationships, Ed Hardy toting Italians, or drug addicted and slutacious high school students with no hope of graduating.

 

LC, anyone who walks their dog in an outfit such as this one, deserves their own TV show. I will start the petition. You go girl.

 

Editor-In-Chief of Fagazine,

Zach


New.

Hellurr there!

Even though today Cincinnati was THE most gloomy city in the entire world, I am feeling upbeat! Whether or not this post will have too many exclamation points remains to be seen.

Here is the list of new Oscar Nominations in each category for this year:

“James Franco Is Pleased”
(Even though “The Kings Speech” is in the lead.)

I really hope Geoffrey Rush wins Best Supporting Actor for “The Kings Speech” because he was fantastic.

 I am not commenting on last night’s Gossip Girl, because I am growing tired of their extremely repetitive plot. That is all. Its time for them to expand the cast.

There has been a new development in the lives of the cast members on Jersey Shore. For the fourth installment of the guiltiest pleasure on TV they will all be turning into Jerry Jetsetters and taking a trip to ITALY. I would like to know who the hell thought this shit up, because American-Italians can’t stand those people, what’s gonna happen with the real deal?! If anything happens to Snooki, I’ll wear black for two years. But I’ve gotta give it up for these wannabe A-Listers because they’re riding this thing all the way to the bank. (Seriously though, they need to cool it with the book “writing.” Snooks, and The Situation already have published “books” and now Jwoww is “writing” one of her own! We know you’re not exactly intellectual, and we’ve accepted it. You should too.) 

Speaking of wannabe (g)A(y)-Listers:

I got a new hair cut. Dig it? Dig it.

The flawless fotograph shown above is courtesy of my biffie Heidi Palmer.

Check out more sensational shizz on her FLICKR.  

 

Editor-In-Chief of Fagazine,

Zach


Celeb Konflicts, Stars Krash and Burn.

This week has been rough for XTina, MTV’s “Teen Mom” took offense to a blog post fired off by my gurl Kim Kardashian. (Her name isn’t the only reason I mispelled conflicts and crash. I am also writing about the tattooed vixen Kat Von Dee.)

Lets talk about that mess first.

Kitty Kat has signed up for one mess of a marriage. Her new fiancee Jesse James proposed to her over the weekend. SEVEN months after his wedding with Sandra Bullock went up in flames. Remember that time America hated him, and even if she did look like a gorgoyle, we liked Kat? Well now everyone thinks she is the biggest Naive Nina to ever walk a red carpet.  When asked if he was excited about his news Jesse James said “Growing old with her is going to be a fuckin’ blast.” Uh, newsflash Jesse. You’re already old.

I am all for second chances, but I also believe “once a cheater, always a cheater” holds some truth. Especially when he knew the risk of getting caught in the first place would result in a media storm. Gross.

Now on to the shiniest golden pipes in Hollywood. Christina Aguileira.

Reports of the newly single mom’s out of control partying have begun to surface. None of these claims have been bolstered with video or picture, so whether or not they are true is anyone’s guess. But one thing is for certain. Since she gained weight, we know what a platinum blonde Snooki would look like. The media has been saying that she has been partying more and more since her divorce a few months ago. The singer is being compared to the tragic pre-comeback Britney. This is all a little premature isn’t it? None of these stories have even been confirmed! She hasn’t even shaved her head (or her beaver)!

What a Sad little Sally Christina must be right now! Don’t worry lady, as long as your bebe boy is safe, and you don’t damage those vocal chords you can do whatever the hell you want, we still love Burlesque.

FINALLY a celebrity has vocalized what most respectable people have been thinking since the beginning of MTV’s repulsive “Teen Mom” and “16 and Pregnant” franchise.

After leaving an interview with MTV where she saw the story about the school in Memphis that has had 90 girls pregnant in the last year, Kim took to her blog. She said:

‘Having a baby is one of the biggest, and most life-changing decisions a person can make and while I’m not saying that no teen is in the position to raise a child, having a baby so young shouldn’t be seen as the trendy thing to do.’

Preach, Kim. Girls are now thinking the fastest way to get on the cover of People Magazine, is to have a baby and throw your entire gestation period on national television.

Amber Portwood, the resident Lindsay Lohan of Teen Mom, who made 280,000 dollars last year took time between court appearances and jail sentences to respond to Kim’s statement.

“There’s actually a study that shows since the original 16 and Pregnant aired, the number of teen pregnancies have gone down. Last time I checked, Kim Kardashian had a sex tape floating around on the internet and I’m pretty sure she made a lot of money off of it. She made a sex tape when she was younger and she wants to bash the girls on Teen Mom?”

I for one, would like to know where this “study” is. Second, Kim may have made a sex tape when she was younger BUT she did NOT get PREGNANT and capitalize on that! Or milk the press because of the issues she had in court (there were none), she didn’t go to jail, and she never tried to break a no contact order with her baby daddy whom she also beat the shit out of. As you have probably insinuated I don’t care much for this pig faced Hester Prynne who hails from Indiana. She is a loose cannon fame whore who shouldn’t be caring for a child. Neither should her BD Gary Shirley. Poor little Leah.

Moral of the story: Kim Kardashian and Christina Aguileira do no wrong in my eyes. They’re too fabulous and have too many Christian Louboutins in their closets. Werk.

Editor-In-Chief of Fagazine,

Zach