Alrighty, so assuming you people have as much invested in pop culture as I do, you’re well aware that J-Lo is in the running to be one of the new judges on American Idol. There is just one hitch. J-Lo and the AI execs are having some trouble reaching an agreement on the contract because her demands are leaning towards the outrageous side. I guess the bitch isn’t “Jenny From The Block” anymore. Personally, I don’t think the AI franchise should pass up a gal like Jenny. How about having a judge on the show who isn’t completely washed up, or detached from the music industry (No offense Ellen, you’re my gurl). She may not be from the block anymore, but she has definitely been around the block a few times. She knows the music industry, whether or not you think she is talented. Also, one of the other alternatives is Steven Tyler. I saw that mans picture and almost threw up. He (I’m not even sure its a he anymore..) looks like he has been fucking mummified. I won’t watch just because of the night terrors that I will get from watching that thing on television. Not a cute look AI, not cute at all.
Not to fear J-Lo I have a perfect back up plan for you if this whole Idol shebang falls through.
So You Think You Can Diva. Now, I’m aware that the title is a poor attempt to cover up the gigantic hit in the gay community So You Think You Can Dance, but that just means people will think we’re in the same franchise and jump on board! The basic premise of the show is finding a celebrity, female or gay, who is the queen diva in the country. We will follow a contestant around for a week to get a look into their life. The goal is to be as high maintenance as possible but remaining in good standings with the american public. A challenging task. Only a true diva like Jenny could pull such a thing off. So naturally she will be the head judge. There will be two more judges and a guest each week to form a panel. There will be a series of eliminations based on the opinions of the judges and the votes submitted by the viewers. People like Tyra Banks will not be permitted to appear on the show. Blatant stupidity, false sense of confidence, and gigantic foreheads are not allowed. So Tyra, you and your Belly Button game better stay the fuck away from my show (google it people, it really happened). Another asset to my show will be the host, Chelsea Handler. Sound perfect? I think so. The networks offered to host the show will be Bravo and E!, I’m sure it will be quite the battle. That said, Andy Cohen, call me!
On a personal note, I went to see my cousins band Sugarland in concert on Saturday night with my entire family. The night was simply magical! The music was amazing and my family had so much fun it was unprecedented. I am always stunned at the power of music, and its ability to bring people together.
Back to our topic.
What do you guys think? Would you watch So You Think You Can Diva?
I am uploading two pictures today. One is grotesque, one is fierce. See if you can match the description to the photo.
Editor In Chief of Fagazine,
Well, here I go again posting my opinion on someone I truly don’t care about & someone who I think already receives an exorbitant amount of press. Yes, just like the majority of the people in this country,I am a hypocrite. But this man is so bat shit crazy I can’t pass up the opportunity to give my thoughts on the matter. So here’s the rundown. Mel & this Russian slut, Oksana, had some sex while Mel was still married. So, naturally, because Mel put his penis in something younger, & undoubtedly, something that felt a little less like sandpaper & fell in love with that something (vagina). Oksana was fine too. Mel slowly began to realize how much he didn’t like Oksana (this is all what I am assuming, but is probably incorrect because no one can predict the behavior of a loony toon.). Now they have a baby together & shit hit the FAN. Have you listened to his tapes? They’re raunch city. Despite how funny I think his insults are, I am tired of hearing about this mess of a divorce. She is shady, & he is crazy. This baby would be best friends with people like Lindsay Lohan & Paris Hilton. Mess. I feel sorry for the little thing.
Heads up: I don’t know what will be blogging about for the next four days. I’m going to Chicago for the first time with my two best friends! But stay tuned my faithful readers. It will surely be entertaining.
Editor In Chief of Fagazine,
PS: This is what a row of winners looks like.